Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
