You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you inspire me to be a worse person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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