Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize