my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
