i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
