i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think my moral compass just broke
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
