Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
