By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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