i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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