can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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