He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
