The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
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He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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