that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
