I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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