btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
