I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
