Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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