My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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