the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
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I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
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Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?