I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised