He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me