I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
