That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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