How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
