I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
