I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
