do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
