He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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