Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
