I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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