I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
