Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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