i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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