NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
