Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
