SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
