Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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