i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
