That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So much Jack, so little girl.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
