So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
