after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
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Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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