at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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