We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
