Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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