i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
