how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize