Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
