the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
