she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize