if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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