I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
