using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
