My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
