Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
