i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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