its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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