Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
