I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
