Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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