btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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