No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
