She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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