as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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